1. At what age or stage of your adult life are you supposed to stop referring to days during the week as "school nights"? You know, like when making reference to the fact you can’t stay out too late on a week night because you have work the next morning? Like when your parents would say “You’ve got to be home early, it’s a school night”. Do you ever have to stop or is it socially unacceptable to use this reference well into your thirties? Do you actually have to be enrolled in school?
2. I hate people who take pictures of sunrises and post them to social media, merely for the fact that by the time I see the picture it’s likely near 10am and I realize that someone else’s day is nearly half over before mine has really even begun.
3. I heard a commercial on the radio recently that was aimed at customers who "don't use the internet". Really, are there people who DON’T use the internet? Besides old people and babies of course. Funny thing is I was listening to the radio via streaming online connection.
4. There is only so long that women can say that they "just had a baby". The window is finite. It’s not up to me to define that window, but if I had to I would say it’s somewhere around the 6-8 month window. It’s the “just” part of the sentence that puts a time limit on it. If I had pizza last Thursday, I can’t really say “I just had pizza” can I?
5. If you don’t ride a motorcycle, you cannot wear Harley Davidson gear. I never really got Harley Davidson gear. I’ve never seen anybody wearing a leather Kia jacket or someone who has a GMC tattoo.
6. Some groups of people just suck. It is what it is, no other way to call it. Usually when a group is unfavorable, there is someone who is “the worst out of all them” but every now and then you encounter a group where every single member is “the worst out of all them”. Like the San Diego Chargers.
7. It is never acceptable to refer to a condom as a "dream catcher". Acceptable? No. Funny? Yes.
8. There are people who really will not use certain ATMs because of the 3.00 usage fee. Let’s say there is an ATM by their house that charges a fee and one a mile away that doesn’t. Wouldn’t they probably use 3.00 in gas to get to the farther one? Principles I suppose.
9. I can’t take you serious if you have a Figaro necklace on.
10. It’s completely incomprehensible in fantasy football to root for a player to score multiple touchdowns against the team who has your starting fantasy defense, as I did this last weekend with Wes Welker and the Broncos. Perhaps that’s why I’m 1-4 in one league and 0-5 in another…or maybe even having the Broncos defense is the reason.
11. Have you ever seen the Coors Light commercials where some guy opens up a can and all the sudden Love Train by the O' Jays starts playing and a train rolls through town brining in a blizzard with it? Why does nobody walk up this guy and punch him directly in the face? Who would want a perfectly nice day ruined by a blizzard?
12. I’m not in favor of Breast Cancer, but I am in opposition to all the pink accessories the NFL sports throughout the month of October.
13. I am not a Scalloped Potatoes snob, I will eat them out of a box or homemade. In fact, I think I will eat any kind of potato.
14. Be responsible with your gifts, not the kind you find under your Christmas tree.
15. “The ease of your forgiveness reveals the maturity of your heart.”
16. Today I heard “You can't fix a problem with the same people who created it in the first place”. I don’t believe that, it insinuates that people shouldn’t be given a second chance.
17. Karl Wit’ A K’s baby son was born this morning, to which I was alerted via picture message of the baby in all his glory. I asked Karl the name of the baby and he said “it’s still being negotiated”. I would take 5 names that both parents agree on, put them in a hat, and draw the name. That didn’t happen to me, but I like that idea so much that I’m going to start saying that’s how I was named. Now, I just need to come up with 4 other cool names to refer to when people ask what the other options were.
18. I am often shocked that car windows with political stickers remain intact as long as they do.
19. When people are talking about you and you walk in and they say “speak of the devil”, I want them to say “speak of the handsome devil” when they are talking about me.
20. Everyone has offered up their opinion on why President Obama’s debate performance was, well, lackluster to say the least. Here is mine: I believe he really WAS distracted by the fact that it was his anniversary and he was working, with his wife in the audience watching him work. Every time Romney was speaking and Obama was looking into thin air, I can’t help but think he was thinking to himself “She’s probably not mad, is she? I mean, I told her I had to work. She’s not mad” and then would look up and see her eyeballing him and think “Oh man, she’s mad”.
21. A relationship with the caveat of if the other partner in the relationship has one “mess up” remaining and they’re done if they do so is really no relationship at all.
22. My coworker is one of those people who do the whole “fake” sneeze. He says that every time he sneezes, he HAS to sneeze three times. Why this bothers me, I have no idea.
23. A wise friend told me that sometimes the answer isn’t that we need to remove people from our lives, yet instead remove ourselves from other’s lives. She’s a wise one.
24. If you ever have a messy house (i.e. clothes on your couch), just keep a suitcase out in the open and say you might be leaving town and you were about to pack. Works every time. Now, you’ll need to come up with an excuse for the dishes in the sink on your own. I can’t do everything.
25. I always get real optimistic once I get to #22 because I feel like I’m doing more than the normal 20 and by the time I get to #25 I have nothing more to say. Sorry.