1. Attention Denver cab drivers: I’m not a tourist. I only called for a cab to take me to Coors Field because I didn’t want to pay for parking or deal with driving later. Taking the “long” way, as if we were in Vegas and I don’t know where I am, will only result in you costing yourself a tip. They gon’ learn today!
2. Perhaps you’ve heard of “taking one for the team”? When your friends ask you to go above and beyond that call of duty, this shall now be known as “taking one for the league”.
3. I don’t have children, but I assume that raising a child is much more difficult than growing a child. For the first couple years, I feel like your only REAL responsibility is to keep that child alive. Once they start talking, etc., that’s when the real work must start.
4. I had to explain this weekend that Kingdom Halls are not halls that you can rent for parties, much to the disappointment of the party to which this was being explained to. Maybe I shouldn’t have pulled the Oz sheet back and just continued to let them think this.
5. With so much of a catalog left, I feel like it’s only a matter of time before we see a DJ Khaled x Tupac collaboration. How many people would REALLY be shocked if Tupac gave Khaled a shoutout on the track?
6. Leaving something behind after your life is much more important than having it all while you’re alive.
7. Hipster ratchetness will never surpass hood ratchetness. It’s impossible. Nice try though. Actually, hipsters don’t take showers. That has got to count for something to narrow the gap.
8. If you have to say "I’m not racist", it’s likely that you are.
9. For most people there is a “3 second” rule. Mine is more like a 10 second rule. I’m a bachelor, I can’t afford to be throwing away perfectly good food.
10. If not for mere integrity reasons, I’m really not a player for monetary reasons. I can barely afford to take care of and treat myself, much less a date too. Two, three dates? Completely out of the question… unless they all are cool with Taco Tuesdays.
11. Today marks the first day of my boss taking off 2 weeks for vacation. I’m not prepared to handle this kind of responsibility.
12. For me, YOLO really means you only get one shoot at this life so you have to make it count.
13. I feel like if she really wanted to, my Mother could sue the RIAA for defamation of character. “Runaround Sue” and then Timex Social Club called her a “tease”. Unacceptable.
14. Karl Wit’ A K is coming into town next weekend and I couldn’t be more excited to see him, even if he describes my recent football career as “a game for adults who can't let their childhood go”.
15. During Baseball doubleheaders, do they kick fans out between the games? If not, why do people have to buy tickets to both games? I am going to my first, and likely only, doubleheader on Memorial Day. Gonna be a long one.
16. I friend requested a girl out of a Little Pete’z album, yes it was worth it. Yes these people are real, I thought for a while it was all some gag. #thiscantbelife
17. People need to be told what to do sometimes, it is the leaders int life that tell them what it is to do.
18. I’m curious as to why there aren’t more Mexican buffets, or even 1.35 a scoop joints like the Chinese spots. Everybody know Mexican food is the best kind when mass produced, maybe we should open a spot?
19. Hard work today sets up easy work tomorrow. I’m trying to learn this, but sometimes it comes the hard way.
20. With or without press passes (and likely without), we’re heading out to Las Vegas for Dom and Danny’s 3rd Annual Birthday Bash for Canelo vs. P-Will. We’re almost 30 now, it’s not good enough to just order the PPV anymore. Time to grow up. Again, there are people who do things and people who want to do things. The only thing left to decide is how many days to go for. 3, or dare we do 4 to catch the Friday weigh in? That might be too much Vegas. Flights are just cheaper on Monday. We’d need to stay at a spot with a legit pool to kick it on Sunday as I’m guessing we’d already be mad remorseful and nearly out of $$ by this point. YOLO.